Oh, yes, names!
Let's look at the A-Z of people I have in my contact list.
What are the stories behind names? I know for one that my mother named me after one of her friends, and I have wished to meet this friend of hers, but unfortunately, I never have. If you think about it, she must have loved them so much to name her literal child after them. To me, that is as crazy as it gets and with my current crop of friends, I think I can name my child after one or two; they have some pretty cool names, too!
Anyway, hello, Bugs and Bunnies. I don’t want to give away my entire friends list because I gatekeep people — if you spent years choosing them from day one, you would gatekeep them, too, because they are the most amazing group of people I know and for a fact, I know that they will never be in the same room together for the foreseeable future. Either way, I love all of them too much to share their names, but I will share a random letter from the people occupying A to Z in my contact list.
A
There are a bunch of people in this list and for exclusivity purposes, I am going to remove all the “Aunts” and I will not elaborate further. Now that that’s done, frankly, the remaining are work friends and as much as I don’t want to put them on blast like that, well, we frankly don’t know each other like that.
B
A work colleague, my brother, and an in-law; the trifecta, if you don’t mind.
C
Now this is where it starts to get spicy. I have a former work colleague at my first moderately well-paying job and she is… funny to say the least. I am and always will try to convince her to get permanent rastas because I once saw her with them and she looked amazing. They fit her face better than my rastas fit my head and since then, I think she is the second person after Luca Hall to have better rastas than me.
There is an actual couple in between the Cs and they are… they are unique in their own way. We have a surface relationship at best but it is a work in progress.
I still have the number of the baker who did Nyx’s graduation cake, so she is all good memories; my cookie plug, as you guessed right, is also under the sea people, vile huwa mambo ni chini ya maji, get it?
I have a friend who became a friend by chance and he is among the top five creative people I know and he is not number five. He often has some pretty kick ass designs.
D
On top of the list is a jack of all trades. I mean, this guy codes, writes, plays chess, creates music, codes some more, is an entrepreneur too, and he is everything I aspire my side quests to have. If there is one person who has more side quests than me, it definitely is him. One thing he does not know is how to give up because he is relentless. Get this, I used to thrash him in chess a couple of years back but now I am not even close to his skill level — that’s how determined he is. He is also building a company that will revolutionize how [REDACTED] and I am honoured to be on his team. Quick backstory: we went to primary school together and one of my last remaining memories of those formative years is going to his house and playing some games for hours on a weekend when we were supposed to be in school. I doubt he remembers much but we had good times.
Quick tangent, I have my caretaker’s number, too. He is often calm and considerate, but aren’t all caretakers supposed to be like that?
Another in-law who is the most fun of the family on her best days. She has my official stamp as a cool person.
E
There are a select few people I would trust in this world to leave my cat with and she is one of them. She is also a kick-ass chef and we often compete on who can outshine the other with different meals. I have, so far, conceded that I cannot cook as good mandazis as she can and you’d think she’s from the lake because her omenas are to die for, nyasachiel! I consider her as one of the most emotionally intelligent people I have had the privilege of knowing because she knows how to socialize better than most people I know. She killed a dear plant and that is a huge blemish on her otherwise perfect record.
Quick intermission: if I know you are spoken for, trust me, I have saved you with all three of your government names.
The head of the in-law family. We have met once and interacted several times in very different capacities and my aura points are safe and secure.
F
I need to find friends whose names have an F that stands out.
G
The coolest cousin in the history of cousins is on top of my list here! She is so amazing words will not be enough to describe her. She might have a slightly higher endurance level than me because I once did her shift for four hours and I was beat — and that was one of her slow days! Not to put her on a pedestal, but if there was one person who I would be so proud to stand next to who isn’t Nyx, then it would be her.
The second half of the D in-law and she is a wildcard. I can’t describe her any more than that.
Someone who has the potential to be a friend for a long while. Probably the third funniest person I know after Nyx. Might be the first of a new cohort of people I am affiliated to geographically that makes going to the said geographical place worth it. Also a pretty decent business client.
H
A vendor who Nyx does not like at all because she messed up our order and that is a spot on any association with her. In hindsight, she had only ONE job, and guess what? She messed it up TWICE in the same job. I was lenient with her but since the gift was, and is not mine, I have to say she deserves to be on the receiving end of Nyx’s fury.
I
Refer to F above.
J
I used to have her number, but I think we hit a stagnation in our friendship but I probably will never forget her. She was one of the friends I lost after getting into a relationship (you lose at least two everytime you get into a relationship btw, this is backed by science) because my priorities changed and I could no longer make time for her, so we kinda drifted apart. I might reach out to her before the year ends. I used to love going to the movies with her and discussing all things to do with Marvel. She is one of the few people I can acknowledge helped shape my rasta journey though she has never seen them. I genuinely loved her presence and there was one time we went to Garden City and played with the painted piano for hours; I was idle and she was on leave. She also used to like Luca Hall, and after watching Grownish, I like his style, too. We went to several restaurants around Nairobi and for what its worth, she might have been the closest friend I ever had pre-Nyx. She is also a huge Spider-Man nerd. She also got to watch Kendrick Lamar live in Rwanda and in my eyes, she is the epitome of coolness. I am sure her number is in my phone somewhere.
K
Refer to I above.
L
Of course I have saved my second number because game recognizes game and I am the coolest person I know.
My rice plug is here, too, because she has the best rice I have ever eaten and she deserves a shoutout.
My second coolest cousin is here, too! She is a polar opposite of the one occupying the number one spot and at times getting a read on her is hard because she is such a layered and complex individual. She has great photography skills and is the person responsible for getting me into anime and I’ll forever thank her for that. She has really good eyelashes, too.
I have to say he is one of the few people who has known me for the longest time whom I am not directly related to. He is unpredictable yet grounding. If I were to name ambitious people who are putting in the work, he will come on top of the list. He singlehandedly got me into coding and so far it is dragging me through the mud, but I like the mud. He is also officially the first of my friends to have a baby and I can’t wait for his daughter to grow up so I can tell her stories of his father while in campus. I genuinely want to see him win in life and I will be cheering on every step of the way. He’s also probably the one person I really struggled to beat in FIFA. I am also honoured to be part of his company and entrepreneurial journey and all I can say is watch this space!
M
Nyx’s bundle of friends follow each other in sequence. I have different relationships with either of them and, well, they are special in their own unique ways. I will let Nyx talk about them one day.
N
My third coolest cousin shows up finally and she is still in school, so I will gatekeep her for the next ten years.
NYX
I got to her! And I have been waiting to reach to her since the first sentence. Where do I start? She is the prettiest woman I have ever laid my eyes on. She is the only one person on this entire planet that I can say is smarter and more intelligent than me. She is among the select few people I actually listen to advice from and who can call me out on my bullshit and take it in equal measure. She makes me feel selfish most of the time because if whatever I am doing will not make her life easier, then my motivation to do the said thing always goes out the window. It is a never ending debate but I can confidently claim that she is not funnier than me but she is equally as hilarious. Her taste in music is exquisite and her taste in books is second to none. Her taste in movies is questionable though, and at times I watch her recommendations and silently and openly judge her in her DMs. No better muses have graced this earth than her and I am so privileged she is my muse. She is a really great dancer and her exploits in [REDACTED] are on top. I admire how her brain coordinates thoughts and my favourite part of the day is when she calls or even texts. FYI, if you have seen me in the last two or so years, I have been fully styled by her so we can confidently say that her fashion taste is, once again, rivalled by none. I am yet to meet a better gifter than her because in as much as I try, she always outshines me and that’s fair enough because she is my sun and stars. Plus, she smells really good, I kid you not, her scent is intoxicating and I don’t say this because I adore her, but objectively, she smells really amazing.
P
Refer to K above
Q
Refer to P above
R
One of the best people I have ever had the chance to work with. All my professionalism and work ethic I learned from her and outside work, she is turning out to be a pretty kick-ass person. She never fails to speak her mind and she, in fact, in part, inspired me to write this and it might look like plagiarism but she is a writer I aspire to be.
S
She saw me walking around with a ballon during my graduation last year and she is slowly morphing into one of the friends I will have for a very long while. She has never let go of her inner child and she is constantly inspiring me to do the same. I consider her an honorary bro.
T
One of the few people on this planet who actually saw me in primary school and we’ve been friends ever since. No, wait. I am lying. We were never friends like that in primary, but we became friends in campus though I have never seen her since primary. She is somewhat funny and has the most our-of-pocket life stories and experiences. If I sould summarize her life, it would be “Ni kama ndrama, ni kama video” because I genuinely don’t know what to expect anytime I talk to her. And she does not take alcohol, so a testament to her because how does she handle her life sober? She is also a Marvel fanatic and I am the one who put her onto it, so in a way, I should be a Marvel influencer.
U
Refer to Q above.
V
Refer to U above.
W
I don’t know them well enough to classify them as friends or have lore with them yet.
X
Refer to V above.
Y
She took me by surprise that she actually likes F1. Her love for Messi is one thing we have in common and she has potential to become a long-term friend though I can say that we are just starting out.
Z
My weed plug wa shags and he has legit stuff. Once, I baked it into cake and let’s just say people saw things for the next couple of hours.
I feel like the alphabet has 26 letters and I can’t remember which one I have skipped, but I don’t have to worry about that because Nyx volunteered to take Maths and I’ll take English, so I guess our children will pass 50% of their classes, no?
From Me To You
So the inspiration to write this came from Resh’s post: Echoes in Numbers. You should read her entire piece.
To all the September babies, I hope your camera always works when you are Snapping, and may you never lose your streaks. I hope you always watch movies you actually like, and that the blood moon made you happy.
If it didn’t I hope my last post could make you smile: I talk of my number one cousin taking me to work.
I also started writing on Substack; my first post was how I like the smell of Mpesa messages and I want to see if I can be consistent on there as well.
P.S. I missed the “O” because my girlfriend said she is Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh—some!
This post first appeared on my website on September 10th, 2025.